Zack: Thesis?
Me: My thesis is unclear but I intend for it to be narrowed down to something about how parents influence us early in our lives, but we can let them completely define who we are.
————————————————————————–
Professor Center: maybe you want to separate this part into a new paragraph about labeling and racism?
Me: I agree, but I am not sure how to integrate this with my current thesis. I think I will mention it in a short intro paragraph to introduce it as a relevant topic to being a good person and self expression.
————————————————————————–
Professor Center: This is technically not a sentence, but it’s a lovely piece of powerful writing.
Me: I plan on making this a complete sentence and integrating with the sentence before or after.
————————————————————————–
Professor Center: If you see this as another example of those who rightfully express themselves, say so. That will give you a transition. And you might discuss who defines what a “true feminist” is.
Me: I agree, I will make this more clear and integrate some textual evidence from a bad feminist. I am also intrigued by the idea to include a discussion about true feminism.
————————————————————————–
Professor Center: nicely said. Can you say how this piece of nonfiction connects to the other sources and your thesis?
Me: I want to talk about how the article of Hawaii shows the lack of racial grouping and profiling in the state. This can relate to my thesis in the way that racism is a negative while self-expressing is a positive in society. While our parents may raise us and we may be influenced by racism early, in a place or situation like Hawaii we can stray away from our past selves, and better define ourselves, and just be better people overall.
